Love where you live!
Many definitions exist for a bully. Each person may actually have their own. We are currently being shocked and inundated daily with constant and never ending reports of bullying about the country as though it is a relatively recent phenomenon. People wail and wring their hands when their child is bullied and when, as it seems to be more frequent these days, a recipient, generally a young teenager, actually kills themselves. Big News. Headlines, National Coverage. Notice also the parents or guardians of the bully are ALWAYS on the defense, ALWAYS in total denial. ALWAYS lies and covers up for the bully. Now why do you suppose that it? Because they themselves were probably raised by bullies to be bullies and in their miniature minds that's the way of life. They see nothing wrong with it. When confronted THEY are the victims and not the aiders and abettors.
Several things are in play here, first and foremost of course is the press' desire for ratings and little else. "How can kids be so cruel?". "What causes this?". "What have we/I done wrong?". These, amongst many other questions continue to arise but none actually address the core issue.
"Bullying" has been a phenomenon since the first organism learned it could over power another. What, billions of years ago? The strongest will always, or generally, ride over the weaker and the weaker will almost always yield with little or no resistance. Period. End of story. "Bullying" exists in all aspects of life and throughout history. The only reason we are so conscious of it today is because it makes good "filler" on television "news" shows and headlines.
My father was a bully. His father and mother were bullies. I remember my great grand parents vaguely and much of what I recall mirror what I have just said. I grew up in a somewhat "bullying" household so I know of which I speak. I lived and carried this with me through school and until I went into the military. I dared not fight back or even think about confronting my father because he was truly a tough guy and I knew the consequences. In school, from grade school until graduation, I was occasionally confronted with "bullying". I learned, after a few sessions of either physical injury or destruction of self worth, that to continue to allow this to happen to me was to perpetuate it. From, oh as I recall, my later grade school years on through school and occasionally in the military, I found myself lashing out. Causing as much physical pain to the other guy as I possibly could. I wanted to hurt him, I wanted to make them feel the fear, the humiliation, the pain that I and others had had to endure. I took no joy in it but I damned sure refused to allow it to happen again to either me or anyone around me. "Fear" is the primary motivator of a bully. Fear and the "perceived" ability to inflict pain on the weaker or weakest one of the group. At its lowest level there exists the school yard of neighborhood bully. At its strongest level there exists WAR. The biggest problem regarding "bullying" is the inability to actually fight back, to defend one's self, to stand up in the face of that bully. From personal experience, however, I found early on that upon receiving several hard blows suddenly the bully reverts to a coward and runs away crying.
Today there exists an even greater problem for potential bullying victims: Face Book and all the other related internet trash sites. Between texting and Face Book, young people are constantly exposing themselves. They have become addicted! WHAT???? ADDICTED!!!???? You think that is stupid? Watch them. They are incapable of conversation without constantly texting, CONSTANTLY. When they have told you they are in the office doing home work? Take a look. Face Book. And the 12 year old that just leapt off the building, kiilling herself because of months and months of "bullying"? Yep. Any report, every report speaks of her being bullied on the internet - Face Book - for months and months. Why was she constantly on Face Book? Why did her parents allow her to be constantly on Face Book? Its called ADDICTION. I just walked into my office a few moments ago and saw my Grandson on Face Book. I advised him immediately that Face Book is not allowed in my home. I have blocked it from my computer but, being a teenager, he knows how to circumvent these blocked sites. IT IS NOT ALLOWED! Yet here was a 12 year old who, for months, sat, hypnotized by Face Book as over a dozen of her "friends" berated and bullied her and she just sat there, just sat there. Thats not stupidity. Thats ADDICTION and parents and adults, they're the stupid ones, will not address it because it is today's BABY SITTER for them and it keeps the kids quiet. Whatchathinkofthat?????
So, "Bullying".Its been around since, forever. It will never go away. Why, its too much fun for the perpetrator and the recipient is far too fearful to even report it for the most part. Never going away because adults merely wring their hands and say, "There, there" and, "Its not MY child" and "Face Book is just a pleasant past time for my children", and "I check my computer every time my child uses it" - sure, you betcha.
The phenomenon of "Bullying" will always be here because, truthfully, most adults are afraid to confront it and step in to stop it. Keep their heads down, their eyes averted. All will nod knowingly at the television reports but will do nothing even when they see it. Next time the talking heads report some kid killing themselves because they were bullied, think about this then.